When I woke up this morning, I did what I always do: I grabbed my phone and immediately started my routine.
Check my texts.
Check my email.
Scroll Instagram.
Scroll Facebook.
Then I got up, started to make my coffee, sat down in my chair, and dit it all again. You know, just in case I missed something the first time.
After I grabbed my coffee, I did it all again. And as my kids were talking to me, I talked back but all while my phone was in my hand, unlocked, and sometimes even scrolling with my thumb as I answered their questions.
Think about all that for a second. When you write it all out, it’s complete madness! Especially the part where I’m scrolling as I’m talking. What am I looking at? What am I doing? It’s like it’s uncontrollable.
Not “like,” I guess. It is uncontrollable. As someone who has dealt with an addiction, as I started thinking about my phone use this morning, I started realizing that it’s not any different from how I used to abuse alcohol. And actually, in a lot of ways it’s worse.
How?
Because it’s way more accepted. Encouraged. Our phones and technology use are a form of society-approved addiction. Alcohol is that as well, but I think phones are even more so.
I asked myself this question this morning: “What if I could quantify how much time I spend scrolling not when I’m by myself, but when I’m with my family?” I don’t want to know the answer, because I know it will be bad.
I got to thinking about this because my friend released a new book last week all about unplugging. It’s called “The Unplugged Hours: Cultivating a Life of Presence in a Digitally Connected World.”
And I haven’t bought it.
Why? Because I’m afraid to. I’m afraid of what it will show me. I’m afraid of how it will convict me. I’m afraid of the guilt and shame that’s already bubbling inside me.
But I need. I have to. So as soon as I’m done with this post, I’m going to buy it. And then I’m going to ask God to speak to me through it. In a way, he already is. I subscribe to Hannah’s emails, and this is what she sent over the weekend:
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
Being kind to yourself is the biggest thing, and if you read The Unplugged Hours, I pray you will feel yourself wrapped up in a hug rather than met with words of shame. There is no shame allowed in this story.
"It's not our fault that we check in and out of things so frequently. Our brains are wired for dopamine—the chemical that allows us to feel pleasure. Daily life brings all sorts of natural dopamine releases—exercise, sunlight, conversing with a friend. But our devices deliver intense doses in less time than it takes to lace up our shoes or get outside. So we scroll. And we click. And we shop. And we search. And our brains get hungrier for something more. But we keep reaching for the easiest surge—getting cheap dopamine hits from a device that has programmed us to check out of real life more and more every day."
If you're checking out a lot, don't jump to shame. Be kind to yourself. Be aware and be curious. All change begins with awareness and the willingness to say, "I think I'd like to try things differently."
So I’m going to try that, or at least keep it in mind as I try to unplug. Feel free to join me.
Guilty!