Don't tell Disney, but one of their shows is secretly promoting 'traditional' values
ABC's "The Golden Bachelorette" is being counter-cultural, and that makes it an intriguing watch.
I know this may seem crazy, but I’m about to spend a number of words explaining why I’ve started watching ABC’s/Disney’s “The Golden Bachelorette.” But if you stick with me, maybe you’ll end up understanding why. And you may even agree.
Last week, my wife and I were laying in bed after a long day. We’re in the stage of life where almost every single night, our kids—ages 9 and 6—have an activity. From piano, to baseball, to softball, to jiu jitsu, it’s “go go go” from 5pm to at least 8pm, if not 9:30pm on “late game” nights.
This night was one of the late-late ones.
As we slowed our breathing, our minds quickened and got stuck. We couldn’t turn them off.
“Should I turn something mindless on?” my wife asked.
“Sure,” I said.
Within a few minutes she settled on “The Golden Bachelorette.”
“Oh great,” I thought.
The inaugural season of the show follows 61-year-old Joan Vassos, who is “looking for love” after losing her husband, John, to cancer some years back. Now, 26 men are vying to become Joan’s fiancé, and each week she’ll whittle it down until there are only two left and there’s a “proposal” where she decides to say yes to “the one.”
The reason I wasn’t stoked my wife picked this show is because of what I anticipated it devolving into. See, as a young couple we used to be obsessive watchers of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette,” the parent shows of “The Golden Bachelor” and now “The Golden Bachelorette.” We’d attend watch parties, we’d bet on who would win, and in my news business days I even co-hosted a weekly podcast about the show.
We were superfans.
But then we had a daughter, and we just couldn’t watch it anymore. It became painfully obvious to us how sexualized the show had become. The staple of “The Bachelor” franchise features dozens of women vying for a man’s “final rose,” and I began to realize that if my daughter was ever one of those women, I would be appalled at what she would be expected to do, be, and become in order to be chosen. In fact, near the end of every season, each of the final 3-4 women takes a turn locking themselves in a “fantasy suite” with the bachelor and, with no cameras or microphones turned on, nothing is off limits.1 So we stopped watching.
Until this past week.2
I figured I would fall asleep within a few minutes. After all, it takes me about 30 seconds to nod off in general. But as I closed my eyes and tried, I absolutely couldn’t. Why? Because the show was great, wholesome television. Not only was Joan delightful, but each man that came onto the scene was as well.
They were almost all retired, they all had children, several were widowers, and they all seemed to be there “for the right reasons,” as has become a mantra on the show over the years. In fact, there were many of them who were volunteered for the show by their own children. In other words, they weren’t there seeking fame or Tikitty Toketty followers. In a society and culture infatuated with self and self-promotion, these men seemed to be genuine, caring, and kind.
That word, “kind,” is a key one. Historically, all the contestants are cutthroat. Sure, there are some friendships that develop, but the “regular” show thrives on drama. And the formula to get it is usually this: put dozens of young people in a confined space, give them free and unlimited alcohol, and then watch (and capture) the fights and fireworks.
Not with “The Golden Bachelorette.”
Yeah, there is some alcohol. But it’s not a main character like it is in the regular shows. In fact, the bigger deal is how and when each retiree can get to bed or take a nap, or how the men are going to fair sharing a room with a host of other 60-year-olds with prostate and sleep apnea issues.
And it’s just so dang fun to watch.
It’s the dad jokes.
It’s the awe and wonder the men have at the efficiency of the refrigerator.
It’s how one of them takes it upon himself to fix the broken garbage disposal.
It’s the genuine camaraderie, like when they celebrate the man selected for a special date with Joan.
It’s the talk about medicare, the children and grandchildren, and the hip replacements.
It’s how each man talks about Joan, not as an object, but as a queen.
It’s the dad bods, the lack of sexualized camera shots, and the elevation of respect.
It’s the high regard these contestants place on traditional marriage.
It’s the celebration of hard work and dedication.
It’s the love for traditional values, chivalry, and the traditional family unit.3
That’s why we can’t get enough of it.
Several times as we’ve chuckled our way through an episode, my wife has looked over at me and said, “I can’t believe they’re showing this.” These days, that’s usually said out of disgust at what’s just happened. But her shock has been because what we’re seeing is just so dang wholesome. We just don’t normally get to see this, especially on reality TV.
The “they,” by the way, are the network executives who seem bent on shoving anything but traditional values down our throats. My wife and I have been increasingly shocked, for example, at the storylines that are now not only accepted but celebrated in modern “children’s” and “family” films and shows. Especially in films created by Disney, which owns ABC—the network “The Golden Bachelorette” airs on.
But here we are, watching a secular program and being stunned at the wholesomeness of it. I never thought those words would be associated with a show in “The Bachelor” franchise. But as thee saying goes, I’m here for it. I want to appreciate and enjoy that. So that’s what we’re going to do.
At least for now.
That’s where a caveat comes in. Some of what I’ve said so far about “The Golden Bachelorette” pushing traditional values, maybe even all of it, could change. If it does, we’re out. But in my experience, you usually get a feel for how a show will be edited within the first couple episodes. And so far—and even in the glimpses we’ve been given of what’s to come—manufactured drama, sloppy drunkeness, and debauchery doesn’t seem to be on the menu.
I want to make one thing clear, though: I’m not pretending that “traditional values” are the exact same as Christian values. That’s an important distinction. But as a disciple of C.S. Lewis, I know that it’s a very short leap from traditional values to wondering where those type of values come from. They are not arbitrary, and because they are not arbitrary, they have to come from somewhere—from someone. Considering the traditional values in the West are Judeo-Christian, we know the author of those values is God. (More here.)
So for now, I’m going to recognize—even celebrate—when the secular world seems to uphold and celebrate those values. Because my prayer is that as people recognize the good, they are drawn to the good. And when they are drawn to the good, it is much easier to introduce them to the author of the good and the giver of all good gifts.
Now, just don’t let the network or the show executives know that their program is secretly pushing traditional values. The show might not last—at least not in its current iteration—if you do. 🤫
That’s not to say that every person who has ever participated in the show has given themselves over to debauchery. Alums Sean and Katherine Lowe come to mind, and they are upstanding people and strong Christians. But that became the exception, not the rule—especially as the show went on.
There were a couple times we watched an episode here or there over the years, but it always felt “icky.” My wife did watch the most recent season of “The Bachelor,” and what drew her to it was the character of the eventual winner.
As with any show these days, though, of course there is some talk about same-sex attraction and a celebration of those relationships and that lifestyle.
Hi Jon, We watched the Golden Bachelor last season and the only caveat is that they continue to put the couples behind closed doors in the "honeymoon suite" with no mics or cameras. Other than that, we enjoyed the traditional values displayed by most of the potential brides. Unfortunately, the one the bachelor chose was the one we thought was the least compatible. The marriage did not last an entire year.
I like how you found good out there being displayed. Typically things are pretty raunchy these days.