That time I almost became an FBI agent.

And how God used a mechanical bull to stop it.

I was digging through some old boxes a couple weeks ago in my garage. That’s when I came across something I had forgotten about: an old email congratulating me on passing the FBI entrance exam. And I thought:

Oh how different my life could have been. “But God…”

I want to show you the email and then I want to explain the important lesson this all reminded me of. And somewhat surprisingly, it has to do with Garth Brooks and a mechanical bull.

First, here’s the email:

“Dear Jonathon,” it begins. “Congratulations, you achieved a passing score on the Special Agent Selection System (SASS) Phase I test. . . . You are among a select group; many Special Agent candidates do not successfully pass the Phase I test. You have clearly differentiated yourself, and the FBI encourages your continued participation in the SASS.”

I remember reading those words in 2012—nearly 15 years ago—and thinking, “This is really happening! My life is about to change!”

I had dreamed of being an FBI agent since I was a kid. I talk a little bit about this in my first book, but one of the ways I dealt with my undiagnosed intrusive-thought OCD growing up was to find more healthy things to obsess about. So instead of ruminating on something harmful, I would replace the unhealthy with healthy things: like my dream of catching bad guys as a federal agent.

I can’t count the number of nights I would finally find relief, peace, and sleep by playing images and scenes in my head of what my future FBI career would look like.

Life, however, took a detour.

By 2012 I had found myself in the news business, writing and leading a team of journalists. I was starting to feel burned out and disillusioned. “I need a change of scenery,” I thought. And that’s when I returned to my dream of being an FBI agent.

I did the research, registered for the entrance exam, and then studied my butt off. I’d go to the library and do practice logic tests and researched all sorts of message boards and forums about how to prepare. When I finally felt ready, I scheduled the exam and went down one Saturday morning and gave it a go.

And I passed.

However, as you can clearly see, I am not in fact an FBI agent. So what happened? Well, in so many ways, God happened. And how did God happen? Well, that’s where the story really gets good.