The problem with "righteous anger."

Or, what I realized after someone told me something that really upset me.

When the words came out of this person’s mouth, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Are you serious?” I said to them, but only in my head.

They were, in fact, serious.

I won’t get into all the details, but suffice it to say that there is a (bigger than I realized) contingent of people who believe if you are not doing their program when it comes to getting and staying sober, your form of recovery (which is what the cool people call it) is “less than.”

“You can be sober, but if you’re not doing the steps and going to meetings, you’re not really in recovery,” this person told me.

I’m still a little stunned. Especially considering that this came from a person of faith. No mention of Jesus, no mention of surrender to him, no mention of anything related to God. Just the “steps” and “the program” and “meetings.” The point was clear: The magic of recovery is found in their formula—and only there. Nowhere else. And shame on you for thinking it’s any other way. Pity on you, really.

I’ve experienced this before. Maybe you have, too. Too many denominations and “sects” of Christianity believe that if you don’t believe their one core, pet idea, you are not a “full” Christian. Maybe it’s tongues, maybe it’s election, maybe it’s what kind of clothes you wear. Sure, you may be a Christian, but you’re not a Christian Christian.

Too many denominations and “sects” of Christianity believe that if you don’t believe their one core, pet idea, you are not a “full” Christian. Sure, you may be a Christian, but you’re not a Christian Christian.

It’s sad. And in fact, it makes me angry.

I texted a recovery mentor of mine yesterday after the conversation had adequately stewed for hours: “So frustrated. Just have to get this off my chest.”

I told my wife about it. She confirmed my frustration, and even shared it.

And then I started getting even more mad.

I was justified, after all. And I’m not just saying that. I was. I am. I think the idea this person told me and espoused is dangerous, inaccurate, and is exactly why so many people—especially Christians—don’t find help when they start realizing they are stuck in destructive and addictive habits. Because if they don’t gravitate towards the one “approved” method of finding help, then they’re made to feel bad, less than, or ostracized.

And you know what’s an easy way to work through feeling less than, belittled, and ostracized? Drink.

These days, instead of drinking I read. So that’s what I turned to last night. And that’s when the epiphany happened.

For over a year I’ve been accosted with how amazing spiritual formation guru Dallas Willard is. His most famous disciple is John Mark Comer, who has unashamedly based a lot of his thoughts on Willard’s. And it seems like everywhere I turn someone is talking about how Willard’s writing has “changed my life.”

So as I embark on my seminary journey, I thought it would be good to read Willard’s most famous work (The Divine Conspiracy) before classes start. If so many find his work important, helpful, and foundational, it would probably be a good idea for me to be familiar with it.

And I have not enjoyed it.

Sorry. I know some people just wrote me off and maybe even think I’m a heretic. But the book has been a slough. His writing is cumbersome. Downright bad at times. Not that there aren’t good nuggets, but I feel like you have to wade through the rabbit trails and verbose writing to get to them.

I tell you all that not to dog on Willard, but to set you up for what I’m about to say: Last night I read Willard’s take on anger and they are some of the most important I’ve ever read. And that’s coming from someone who has struggled through his writing. That should tell you how good and important they are.

And given the day’s events, they cut me to my core.

Friend, I think you need to read them as well. Because even if you are justified in your anger, what I came to realize is that you are poisoning yourself. There’s a better way.

For example, if you only read one quote today read this one from Willard (all quotes taken from The Divine Conspiracy):