What annoys you most in others?

A new way to look at those things.

I’m slowly making my way through Thomas A. Kempis’s classic, The Imitation of Christ. This book is amazing. Ancient wisdom with so many modern implications. So far, Chapter 25 has been my favorite. In fact, I wrote about it back in September.

If you're struggling with what your future looks like.

I need to give you another nugget from this chapter, though. Because for some reason God had me read it again this morning. (I’m a little scared about what that means for what’s coming next! You’ll see why.)

Here’s the section I revisited this morning:

Study also to guard against and to overcome the faults which in others very frequently displease you. Make the best of every opportunity, so that if you see or hear good example you may be moved to imitate it. On the other hand, take care lest you be guilty of those things which you consider reprehensible, or if you have ever been guilty of them, try to correct yourself as soon as possible. As you see others, so they see you.¹

*Gulp*

There are two ways to go with this. Let me start with the most obvious.

1. The negative:

   1. How many of us are quick to point out someone else’s flaws while excusing the exact same thing in ourselves? 🙋‍♂️ We can’t stand when someone “judges” us, but we engage in that same thing daily. We can’t stand when someone is careless with their words, but we have that group text where, if everything were published out of context, we would be cancelled immediately. You get the point. Kempis is clear that we need to guard against engaging in the very things we find so annoying in others. That hit me.

2. The positive:

   1. There’s a saying that goes, “We preach against our worst sins.” And I think a lot of times that is used as an indictment. And it can be. But here’s the thing: It doesn’t have to be. You know who preached against his worst sins? Paul. He called out in Peter what he himself fell prey to for so long in: legalism. And in fact, Paul’s past uniquely qualified him to recognize legalism in others. It’s like the FBI hiring former hackers to catch hackers. Why? Because the former hackers know the tricks of the trade! The former hackers know how to catch the current hackers! So when I hear the phrase, “We preach against our worst sins,” I yell out, “Heck yeah! And it can be an assault on the devil!” I can talk about addiction, hiding, secrecy, and drunkenness with such conviction—and reach people who struggle with them as well—because I know what it’s like to struggle with those things.

   2. Now, two key ingredients are necessary for that to be true: repentance and humility. Without those two things, it’s just hypocrisy. But with them it’s how God is using our pasts for “our good and his glory.” It’s how he redeems our messed-up stories.

Friend, I want you to think today about this question today: “What annoys me most in others?” It probably won’t be hard. And then I want you to do three things:

1. Recognize how and where you can and do struggle with the same thing.

2. Remember the phrase from the ancient desert church fathers that I have tattooed on my arm: “He today; I tomorrow.” We are all capable of grave, and even “small,” errors.

3. Pray for God to use those very things that you “preach against” to reach others. Those things that annoy you in others that are also your own struggles can and will be used for your good and God’s glory.

There is so much talk about “walking in freedom” in evangelical circles. Unfortunately, I think too many misunderstand what that means. That doesn’t mean never struggling. It doesn’t mean pretending like you don’t struggle, or never struggled, with what you struggle with. No, I think a huge component of freedom and victory is realizing you don’t have to succumb to the siren song of sin, and then using that struggle to help others realize the same thing.

It’s strength in weakness (2 Corinthians 7:10-12). It’s boasting in not being able to “kick it” on your own. It’s the upside down Kingdom of God.

And in that kingdom, what annoys you most in others is actually a gateway to humility.

Try it. I dare you.

👉 I spend a minimum of 20-30 hours a week writing for you and creating thought-provoking devotionals every day. If you’d like to support my ministry and see me continue to write, please consider becoming a paying supporter. Or, you can contribute in a smaller way and make a one-time donation here.

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

(P.S. I use affiliate links. It’s 2025.)

1. Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, 1996), 55–56.