Won't he do it.
Will you live like it?
My daughter and I have a new little ritual. At the end of the day, she crawls up in my recliner or I lay next to her in her bed, and we watch the funniest Instagram reels we can find and we laugh. Hard.
Many times it’s “talking” dogs or people attempting tricks that go horribly wrong. But every once in a while there is a grown-up joke that comes on that I laugh hard at but that she doesn’t get.
Last night was one of those times.
After watching another funny animal video, we were greeted by a woman jokingly asking God to make clear to her whether she should go to the Chinese buffet or not. As she drives up, someone in a parking spot right in front of the restaurant backs out, giving this woman the prime location. She yells, “Look at God! Won’t he do it!”
I could not stop laughing. If you’ve read my first book, Finding Rest, you know I love Chinese buffets. In fact, it truly can be an unhealthy form of escapism for me. So I found this particular video hilarious.
My daughter didn’t quite get it, so I had to explain it to her. Not surprisingly, it lost some of its charm when I had to break it down.
But what does a funny video and Chinese buffets have to do with this morning’s devotional? To explain that, I have to go back to a question my wife asked me yesterday morning.
As some of you know, my wife has chronic health issues stemming from a car accident nearly three years ago. In short, she has a traumatic brain injury causing short-term memory loss and the trauma from the accident triggered a slew of autoimmune diseases that required three trips to the Mayo Clinic. All of this led to a full hysterectomy last year at just 38. Yesterday, I was driving her to yet another doctor’s appointment: 40 minutes there, 40 minutes back. And to be honest, I’ve had a very up-and-down week over the last seven days.
So when she asked me the following question, I wasn’t in the most optimistic mood to begin with: “How are you feeling about where the nonprofit stands?”
As I announced recently, I’ve turned my latest book into a nonprofit called Veritas Recovery. For the last two months we’ve been working nonstop trying to get it off the ground—from securing board members to waiting on the government to approve us as a 501c3 to starting to raise money.
My answer to her question? “I won’t feel great until I know it’s funded.” See, there are so many things I feel God has called us to do with this ministry. From an online community, to retreats, to even a kitchen that employs people coming out of addiction. All it takes is… money. And when you’re a baby nonprofit, that’s harder to come by.
So for now, I lay out the vision, do what I can do to move it forward, rely on some people who have given to help us start, and wait for God to show up.
(I swear I’m connecting this to the Chinese buffet.)
This morning, I was praying through all that. The ministry, the people we have already been given the honor of serving on Sunday nights, and some important conversations coming up. As I do most mornings, I was journaling and asking God to speak to me. And in his faithfulness, he did.
But it wasn’t a word of comfort as much as it was a word of challenge.
Here’s what I felt prompted to write down from him: “Jon, what if you started living like I will provide instead of worrying if I will?”
Ohhhh. That hits hard. Especially for me.
See, I’m a worrier. A catstrophizer. I so often succumb to “the tyranny of the what if.” And no doubt that’s been plaguing me lately as I take this step of faith. And I keep asking myself, “What if this doesn’t work out? What if no one supports it? What if you’re chasing something for all the wrong reasons? What if this isn’t what God wants? What if you’re supposed to be doing something else? What if you struggle through this for years?”
Those are the things that circulate in my mind a thousand times a day. They are real fears. I can almost taste them. And yet, they are the things that God is calling me to lay down.
I wonder if you need to hear that, too.
Friend, what if we lived this week like God would actually show up and do what he says he will do? What if we started living in the certainty of our callings instead of the doubts of our failings? What if we stared living like he will provide instead of worrying if he will?
I know, it’s hard. I will forget this in 10 minutes and then have to remind myself of it in 11. And yet it’s what I’m called to do. Because Romans 8:28 is true and real and right.
God is working all things for my good and his glory. Yours too. He will provide. He does provide. He is good.
This week, let’s practice living like it.
P.S. If you feel inclined, you can help with the nonprofit here.
“I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.”
—Psalm 81:10
