Forgiveness is powerful. But repentance is required before forgiveness can be given. Jesus is our example and Luke speaks of this between people. And if the offender doesn’t repent and refuses to even acknowledge their offense (sin) you can pardon them and move on to your healing. But without repentance the offender doesn’t even know they’ve been forgiven. Many people have written on this and one of the best articles I’ve read is this one: https://open.substack.com/pub/stillfinished/p/this-bad-theology-shoots-the-victim?r=3n80gx&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Hmmm. Interesting. I don't think I fully agree. I think you can forgive without repentance. However, I don't think RESTORATION can happen without repentance. Thoughts?
It’s the concept of pardoning— meaning you can let go of resentment, anger, etc and focus on healing from the offense done to you. Many people might consider this forgiveness. But I think Jesus gives us the example of needing to recognize our sin and repent to receive forgiveness. It’s a matter of the heart. Luke 17:3 speaks to this. As for reconciliation yes to repentance, forgiveness, and rebuilding of trust must all be there. But we can’t place an added burden of forgiveness on a victim when the offender doesn’t care they sinned. Just my thoughts and I love this discussion my friend! 😊
I wonder if there's a difference, though, between the forgiveness involved in salvation and the forgiveness we can offer to others. In other words, certainly repentance is required for salvation. And again, I think repentance is needed for reconciliation. But I'm having a hard time agreeing that repentance on the offender's part is necessary for us to offer forgiveness. I'm just not sure I see that biblically. I think the Luke scripture you mention certainly means that if someone repents, we definitely MUST forgive them. But I think the message of Jesus, especially in Matthew 18:21-35, is that we can and should forgive others even if there isn't repentance. Now, absent repentance there is a wedge between us and the offender for sure. But I still think you can and should offer forgiveness absent the other person's repentance.
Forgiveness is a spiritual discipline and must be supernatural. I could spend my entire waking day being reminded about my wrongs. Repentance is part of the healing process. Anger is somehow part of it as well. Delving into my anger and asking why is something I am exploring.
Thank you for this post. Recently I had to revisit a very challenging time in my life and realized that God was asking me to forgive someone who hurt me more than anyone ever has. I followed your exact steps and asked forgiveness for myself before offering it to the one who hurt me. I felt no magic and I still struggle but there is a certain seed of peace that is growing in me now that I didn’t have before.
Thank you for sharing this. Forgiveness is a complex topic.
I have found myself wrestling with it for some time now. A book I read recently (Not Forsaken - A Story of Life After Abuse, by Jennifer Michelle Greenberg, written from a Christian perspective) discusses two different types of forgiveness. One in which the offender is unrepentant, and one in which they are. The first releases resentment, anger, etc. But it does not reinstate the relationship. The second allows for the relationship to be reconciled, with time and grace.
I think that's a great distinction, and one I was trying to make as well while discussing forgiveness vs. restoration in the comments. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for this. I am in a similar situation and this weekend, without me even realizing it was happening, the Lord helped me cross a mountain on the path of forgiveness. He is so amazing and it literally blew me away. I know I still have to hold that forgiveness close because it would be easy to let bitterness and hurt come back, but His mercy for me is shattering and I know He can help me show grace and forgive. Your post today just codified for me that He is working a miracle in my heart and I thank you for sharing.
i have found that when I think i have forgiven and then i find myself angry and bitter, it means there is more to forgive. I think we deal with the hurt and pain in layers.
Forgiveness is powerful. But repentance is required before forgiveness can be given. Jesus is our example and Luke speaks of this between people. And if the offender doesn’t repent and refuses to even acknowledge their offense (sin) you can pardon them and move on to your healing. But without repentance the offender doesn’t even know they’ve been forgiven. Many people have written on this and one of the best articles I’ve read is this one: https://open.substack.com/pub/stillfinished/p/this-bad-theology-shoots-the-victim?r=3n80gx&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Hmmm. Interesting. I don't think I fully agree. I think you can forgive without repentance. However, I don't think RESTORATION can happen without repentance. Thoughts?
It’s the concept of pardoning— meaning you can let go of resentment, anger, etc and focus on healing from the offense done to you. Many people might consider this forgiveness. But I think Jesus gives us the example of needing to recognize our sin and repent to receive forgiveness. It’s a matter of the heart. Luke 17:3 speaks to this. As for reconciliation yes to repentance, forgiveness, and rebuilding of trust must all be there. But we can’t place an added burden of forgiveness on a victim when the offender doesn’t care they sinned. Just my thoughts and I love this discussion my friend! 😊
I wonder if there's a difference, though, between the forgiveness involved in salvation and the forgiveness we can offer to others. In other words, certainly repentance is required for salvation. And again, I think repentance is needed for reconciliation. But I'm having a hard time agreeing that repentance on the offender's part is necessary for us to offer forgiveness. I'm just not sure I see that biblically. I think the Luke scripture you mention certainly means that if someone repents, we definitely MUST forgive them. But I think the message of Jesus, especially in Matthew 18:21-35, is that we can and should forgive others even if there isn't repentance. Now, absent repentance there is a wedge between us and the offender for sure. But I still think you can and should offer forgiveness absent the other person's repentance.
Appreciate you engaging with me on this!
Forgiveness is a spiritual discipline and must be supernatural. I could spend my entire waking day being reminded about my wrongs. Repentance is part of the healing process. Anger is somehow part of it as well. Delving into my anger and asking why is something I am exploring.
Thank you for this post. Recently I had to revisit a very challenging time in my life and realized that God was asking me to forgive someone who hurt me more than anyone ever has. I followed your exact steps and asked forgiveness for myself before offering it to the one who hurt me. I felt no magic and I still struggle but there is a certain seed of peace that is growing in me now that I didn’t have before.
Thank you for sharing this. Forgiveness is a complex topic.
I have found myself wrestling with it for some time now. A book I read recently (Not Forsaken - A Story of Life After Abuse, by Jennifer Michelle Greenberg, written from a Christian perspective) discusses two different types of forgiveness. One in which the offender is unrepentant, and one in which they are. The first releases resentment, anger, etc. But it does not reinstate the relationship. The second allows for the relationship to be reconciled, with time and grace.
I think that's a great distinction, and one I was trying to make as well while discussing forgiveness vs. restoration in the comments. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for this. I am in a similar situation and this weekend, without me even realizing it was happening, the Lord helped me cross a mountain on the path of forgiveness. He is so amazing and it literally blew me away. I know I still have to hold that forgiveness close because it would be easy to let bitterness and hurt come back, but His mercy for me is shattering and I know He can help me show grace and forgive. Your post today just codified for me that He is working a miracle in my heart and I thank you for sharing.
i have found that when I think i have forgiven and then i find myself angry and bitter, it means there is more to forgive. I think we deal with the hurt and pain in layers.
After faith, forgiveness seems to be the highest and hardest part of discipleship.